More Old Scrappos

I dug deeper into my old art folder and found a bunch more old stuff tucked away in a subfolder of a subfolder, so now I'm going to dump it here. Most of this is from before 2012 and a lot of it is unfinished, because why would I bother completing it if the Mayan Apocalypse was right around the corner?

Im putting the images under the jump break because its about to get ugly. Click "Read More" if you want to see a man losing an arm and green lantern if he was a pimp instead of a superhero.

Moped Jousters!

There's three things you want to keep in mind when you want to knock something on its ass: be quick, strike hard, and keep a low center of gravity. The Moped Jousters know this well. The best among them can plant their laser sharpened lance deep into the engine block of a tank then scoot off into obscurity, and the assholes inside won't even know what happened until they climb outside to find what has been colloquially called "a middle finger" sticking out of the ass end of their now useless idiot tub.

And thus ends ELEVEN HOURS of drawing today, holy good fucking christ! Thats six drawings in one day, a personal record! The Jousters could use some more work but I was getting pretty ragged around the 9 hour mark. Also, I would like to thank the lardpirates crew for... fucking nothing all they did was queue up nickelodeon commercials and fucking modem sounds to my playlist. (Nah, seriously though guys thanks for sticking around and providing some critique and occasionally tossing me some good tunes.)

Dogs!

Man's best friend since our dumb asses fell out of the trees and couldn't climb back up, alerting us to danger and aiding us in our hunts. Nowadays, It's not uncommon to come across a working dog exploring the world that is making a bigger paycheck than you. The evolution of the dog has progressed so rapidly that it knows more about how to survive an encounter with alien invaders than most people do. There is even one account of a dog disarming a nuke somewhere up north. Man, that's one good-ass dog.

Meatheads!

One thing needed on this bastard of a planet is copious heaps of pure muscle, and the Meatheads have perfected the art of getting ripped. Their extreme training regimens handed down through generations can turn your average scrawny nobody into a brickhouse Adonis at incredible rates, amazingly without having to rely on dangerous chemicals that have led others down dark paths into maddening hugeness. They're not the brightest, but when you're crushing engine blocks on your forehead like beer cans something silly like graduating high school is of little concern.

Road Shamans!

For centuries they have travelled the land in vehicles older than the New Histories. Ancient hot rods faster and more durable than any new-aged imitation, held together by masterful engineering and ancient mysticism. Their abilities also extend far beyond fixing up old beaters. When the world ended for the umpteenth time and we were all squirreled away in our cozy little shelters waiting for whatever crazy demon landed via meteorite to tire out and sleep for another thousand years, these guys were outside livin' it up.

The Schonkus

Another RPG enemy dude however this one's name and description belongs to my friend Zeke, who wants to use it for his own dumb RPG he's had in the works for ages now.

Horseface Killa

His original description, as written in his Fiend Fauxilio, a collection of weird monsters created by himself and some other guy who  I assume was tripping on peyote while laying face down on a dungeon master's guide.

Schonkus:  A minor demon that appears as a Horse-head with two buff arms coming out of its neck, and no body whatsoever.  It swings from cover on ceilings, where it might grip with its strong hands for hours at a time.  They often attack sleeping adventurers.  They plague and pursue those that have upset demon crime lords.  If killed, they explode in a disgusting burst of filth that frequently spreads disease.  The Schonkus are notoriously stupid, and frequently harass the wrong target.  They are most often sent after those that break a demonic pact.

I took some liberties with the description, as you can see. I felt giving him a partial torso would make more sense anatomically, and decided to not draw him hanging from a ceiling as that would display strangely in-game.

Unrelated: What is it with people joining my art streams and telling self-depreciating jokes about their dicks? It happens almost every night and I don't understand.

Return of Crazed Idiot

More RPG mooks! This time, I brought back the first enemy from my sort-of abandoned RPG Maker game, Hype Knight, the tale of a man who claims to have done such amazing acts of strength and heroism that nobody believes a word he says. That is, until push comes to shove, and he shoves his whole arm right down push's throat and fires a laser beam out of his palm. His whole joke is he's basically an overpowered mary-sue type character whose powers quickly fade if he doesn't maintain his badass image.

The first (and only) encounter in the game is with an un-named psychopath in a lone house in the woods who attacks him with a knife.

He's loosely based on a default enemy sprite in RPG Maker. The knife, moustache, and hair-do are cribbed from that sprite, but his bare chest, delightful tattoo, and cheerful countenance and are all me.

Gameplay notes time!

• HHHRGFHHH FUCK OFFFFF
• Recurring appearances throughout the game, keeps coming back like Jason Vorhees
• GET THE FHHFH GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE
• Move set heavily scaled towards applying bleed debuffs
• FUCKING YOU FUUUCK FUCKING WALKING STEAK COME HERE
• Hopefully a difficult fight each time he's encountered, I want the player to say "oh SHIT" out loud every time he jumps out of a dumpster.

Eldritch Escort

Number 2 in my calvacade of hideous freaks is the Eldritch Escort, a hooker from a plane mankind was not meant to know about.

I don't know how the fuck the best hair I've ever drawn isn't even hair at all, its a mass of squiddy tentacles. Also the anatomy on the more humanoid bits is a bit iffy here, real sloppy work. I need to work on that.

Gameplay elements?:

• Alluring Insanity
• Interplanar diseases
• "How much for that skull?"

Shout outs to the two guys who joined my stream and attempted to troll me. Nice try guys, but your technique needs work. Maybe try insults instead of just saying gross things about your dad's dick.

Seriously what the hell

Blimpanzee

I got the urge to attempt to make a weird Wizardry style RPG again, and rather than start with making some janky-ass code in game maker that nobody will ever see or have fun with, why not start with designing some enemies that I can actually show off?

So I present to you the Blimpanzee! (name credit goes to my buddy Spoonshiro)

Like a normal chimpanzee they smoke cigarettes and have the strength to rip a man's arm off. However, Blimpanzees are also filled with compressed methane gas.

Possible gameplay attributes:

• Ape-like creature with crinkled hands. 
• Explode upon taking fire damage
• Explode upon taking puncture damage (fart gas reaching lit cigarette), unless first hit with water.
• AOE nauseate effect from farts? I dunno about this one.
• Float in mid-air

I drew this on live stream with Mr. Salad Dongs feeding obnoxious songs into my bot's music playlist, and I think that really helped give this guy the crude and ugly feel I was hoping to achieve. I also decided to try adding a thick outline to the whole thing, something I haven't done on any of my work since I was a young'ern.

One last thing: I feel sorry for the guy who joined my stream because I jokingly added #ASMR #RELAXING #CHILL to my stream title and this song came up right after he said hi.

Sketch page from hell

Well shit on me, I actually started drawing again without a whole damn year passing! But in that short time I've already regressed into shit tier. Look at that fucker in the middle! Fucker's a background character in a klasky-csupo show. Charles Figg turned out nice though, but it all went downhill after that. Samantha started out looking like a feminist elmer fudd but then i added on the juggalo makeup and the horrible punk hairdo and gave her a dumb name combining "jester" and "lucifer" because that sounds like something a juggalo would come up with after huffing gas in the shed behind their step-mom's trailer. I got cranky and quit on the fourth guy.

More coming soon probably. Been feeling the art buzz for the last few days after my brother in law drew a picture of me punching an old woman in the jaw with my Magic Knuckles.

thanks bro